Fostering a positive relationship with food
Having a positive relationship with food is likely something that our own parents never worried about. Many in our generation come from homes where the rule was to finish what was on our plates or there was no dessert. In addition, we grew up in a time where fad diets were (and are) popular leading to long lists of forbidden foods, cementing the idea that our self worth was tied into what we eat. As a result many adults today struggle with their relationship with food and have hopped on the diet culture train. Helping your child develop a positive relationship with food can help them enjoy healthy eating habits now and in the future.
What does it mean to have a positive relationship with food?
Having a positive relationship with food means that you are confident and flexible around food and when making food decisions. It means that you do not follow any ‘food rules’ and truly believe that all foods fit into a healthy diet. When you have a positive relationship with food you acknowledge that food is just food, it has no moral value and cannot and should not be labeled as good or bad. You can trust your body and its hunger and fullness cues. This guides how much and when you eat and there is no guilt or shame with eating certain foods. You do not feel pressure to only eat foods labelled as “good” or “clean”. When you have a positive relationship with food you can enjoy a bowl of ice cream without feeling terrible about yourself or feeling like you need to eat the whole carton because its a food that is usually off limits.
If you are someone who has struggled with yo - yo dieting or follow a cycle of bingeing, restricting and sneaking food, then feel a heavy weight of guilt chances are you have a strained relationship with food and likely do not want to see your children struggle in the same way.
So what can you do?
How do you help your child develop a healthy relationship with food?
Here are a few tips to help you foster a positive relationship with food with your children:
Allow children to honour hunger and fullness cues by allowing them to eat when hungry and stop when they are full, regardless of what or how much food is on their plates. In other words do not force your child to eat or restrict them;
View and talk about food in a positive way, do not attach moral value to food by labelling foods as ‘good’ or ‘bad’;
Acknowledge that eating and meals don't have to be perfect everyday, that there is room to be flexible and balanced with eating, which means that all foods fit;
With the exceptions of allergies and cultural / religious reasons, do no restrict any foods in your household, and again acknowledge that all foods fit into a healthy diet;
Be a good role model by enjoying a variety of food and not allowing yourself to create or follow arbitrary food rules;
Engage in positive body talk for yourself and your child(ren);
Avoid using food as a reward. Doing so puts these types of food on a pedestal and may lead to sneaking and bingeing of these foods when given the chance;
Normalize “treat” foods by including them as part of your families regular meals or snacks to show children that these foods need not be idolized and that they fit into a healthy diet. As soon as you overly restrict these foods, they become the only food children want and can lead to sneaking and overindulging followed by feelings of guilt and shame.
If children are given the tools to see food as food and given the opportunity to eat all foods as part of a healthy diet they are more likely to have a balanced and flexible eating pattern now and in the future. This will allow them to naturally achieve a healthy weight that is right for them and help them to tune out pressure to diet and shame themselves based on their food choices. Giving children this opportunity by implementing some of the tips above will help them develop and maintain a healthy and positive relationship with food.