Top tips for preventing picky eating

Picky eating is the number one reason for referrals in my private practice. Many families face picky eating at some point in time with their kiddos and some parents may find that they have quite selective eating habits too. In many cases, very selective eating can be a phase, which is often quite normal for toddlers. However, some families face greater struggles with picky eating and it may not be ‘just a phase’ at all. The best way to deal with picky eating is to prevent it. Although not impossible to deal with later on, it is definitely easier to be proactive to prevent selective eating habits right from the start.

Many babies are a joy to feed when they start eating solids. Everything is new and exciting and often they are happy to try new foods. Once they get used to the idea of eating, many babies are excited to explore food in a variety of ways. This is often thought of as a feeding ‘honeymoon’ stage. Once those babies get a little older however, picky eating habits start to form. It is important to know what is on the horizon and try to prevent picky eating instead of adding fuel to the fire. Unfortunately, even with the best of intentions, parents can contribute to picky eating without even knowing it.

Here are a few tips to help you prevent picky eating right from the start, even with the littlest eaters.

Follow the Division of Responsibility

This feeding principle encourages parents to be responsible for the when, where and what of feeding while babies (toddlers, kids and teens) are responsible for the if and how much. That means parents are only responsible for providing the food at a scheduled time and place while children are responsible for eating or not eating the food provided. This is a hard one for many parents as we feel it is part of our job to ‘get’ our kids to eat. In reality however, it is a child’s job to decide if they will eat and how much. Maintaining this DOR is key for preventing picky eating and it helps to take the pressure off parents when it comes to how much their babies are eating. Parents often feel that they cannot trust their little eaters to know how much they need to eat when in reality babies are the best at intuitive eating.

Trust your babies hunger and fullness cues

Part of the DOR is trusting our children to know when they are hungry and when they are full. Allowing babies and kids to listen to and trust their own hunger and fullness cues is key here. So, follow your little ones lead. If they are showing signs that they are still hungry, continue to offer food or allow child to feed themselves. However, if your child is showing signs of being full, such as turning their head, spitting out food, throwing food, closing their mouth up tight, it is best to end the meal or snack and move on to different activity. Babies are really good at listening to their hunger and fullness cues. When we ‘force’ them to eat when they show us that they are done eating we encourage them to lose that trust and overeat.

Create a meal and snack schedule

When you first start solids with your baby, you may be offering solids only once or twice a day, and in very small amounts. Once babies get a little bit older they are ready for more eating opportunities throughout the day. Little tummies need food every 2-3 hours. So be ready to offer a meal or snack every few hours, with babies this may include nursing sessions or formula. This allows little ones, even babies, to know that there is a routine when it comes to meals and they will come to expect this routine. This also means that they are not grazing between meal and snack times and they will have hungry bellies when it is time for food. Keeping the kitchen closed between meals and snacks can help with maintaining this schedule. Allow water only between meals and snacks. Creating these boundaries and structures early on can help to prevent picky eating.

No pressure
Most importantly, do not pressure or force your child to eat. This includes using a distraction such as TV or other screens and toys to get your child to eat. Many parents resort to this because they find their kids eat when they are distracted. Although this may seem like a good idea because it is getting parents what they want, food into bellies, this is not a great habit to get into. Relying on screens to encourage food intake causes little ones to lose touch with their hunger and fullness cues and this fights their ability to maintain the intuitive eating skill they were born with. With babies pressuring often looks like force feeding or using distractions to get in bites. With toddlers and older children pressure may take the form of bribing kids to eat by offering treats or dessert for eating a full plate, punishment for not eating a meal or snack (taking away a privilege or dessert), guilting kids into eating by telling them how much effort you put into food preparation or even positive pressure which might be telling kids how a good a food is for their health. Even the slightest bit of pressure can be enough to encourage picky eating. Studies suggest that the more pressure we put on babies and children to eat, the less likely they are to eat.

Lead by example

We are our babies moon and stars and they look up to us for everything, this includes eating. When parents lead by example, eat a variety of different foods, honour their hunger and fullness cues and follow a meal and snack schedule it becomes easier to do the same with our kids.

Embrace the mess

As frustrating as it may be to watch babies get super messy at meal times, its actually all part of the learning experience. Allowing little ones to make a mess, get food in their hair and up their nose, actually helps to prevent picky eating by allowing babies to learn how to self feed using their hands, involves the senses and helps them to become acclimatized to different textures and sensations. Getting messy with food also helps little ones develop fine motor skills. Try to avoid cleaning up the mess as it happens too, try to roll with it as best you can. The more time you spend wiping babies face and hands and cleaning their tray the more you are interfering with their learning experience. In addition, trying to keep them clean may make them more sensitive to having messy hands and face later on interfering with their willingness to feed themselves. It may be a tall order to ask parents to sit back and watch the mess unfold. Prepare for the mess by setting up your baby’s spot at the table with a splash mat on the floor and allowing baby to eat wearing just their diaper this might take some of the anxiety out of it. The best part about playing with food is that it is one of the only times its totally acceptable for babies to put what they are playing with in their mouth.

Putting it together

So the best way to prevent picky eating is to lay off and let babies and toddlers do their job of eating while we do our job with feeding. You can do this with even the tiniest of eaters. Follow the DOR even when you first start solids with baby. Doing so, while not pressuring, not distracting, allowing the mess, honouring their hunger and fullness and creating a meal and snack schedule can help you prevent picky eating as babies reach toddlerhood and beyond.

When you’ve tried everything and its still too challenging

Some babies may show signs of oral motor challenges, sensory issues or trouble swallowing which can all contribute to difficulties with eating and lead to picky eating. If you feel that you are beyond the point of preventing picky eating and are facing feeding challenges at every meal, reach out for some guidance. I help families deal with picky eating and work on strategies together to help take the stress out of feeding. Some children may also need the help of Occupational Therapists or Speech Language Pathologists when oral motor, sensory or swallowing issues are present. Connect today and together, we’ll figure out how to get you the help you need.